Love Rant

This is something I wrote in April 2010 and never posted anywhere. It's making me think about some things so I feel a need to post it. I couldn't figure out what to call it so when I saved it, I called it a "Love Rant"... Welp, here it goes...

Love

What is love?

Can I fully experience it?

Why do I desire it?

Can someone tell me?

I feel like I’m on a never-ending search

For something that I should be able to find in a church

But truth be told, sometimes it’s so full of hate

And you have those who will try to debate

That the church is so loving and caring

So explain to me why some “church folk” are hating and airing

The business that isn’t their own,

Say not to gossip, and are the first one on the phone

When someone gets caught out there

Instead of praying, they laugh and stare?

I don’t get it………

Love

What is it?

I’ll tell you what it is

Love is when you give your life for someone you care for

Love is when you forgive

Love is when you can look past someone’s faults and see their heart

Love is when you give to those who don’t have

Love is……something a lot of people don’t understand

We tend to look for love in people, places, objects, etc. How many people actually go to God and say “Lord show me how to love. You showed me You loved me by sending Jesus Christ to die for me. Jesus Christ showed He loved me by dying a brutal death and in the midst of that asked that You would forgive me. I know I can’t show You or anyone else I love them in that manner, so show me what I need to do and I will.” ??? That’s my prayer and I encourage you to make it your own.

There Will Come A Day

"His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord"

-Matthew 25:21

I was sitting in my room thinking last night and I just started writing what was in my head...

There Will Come A Day

There will come a day…

When I no longer have to cry

When I can wake up with a smile

When I don’t feel heavy

There will come a day…

There will come a day…

When I don’t have to wonder

When I can be confident at all times

When I don’t have to question

There will come a day…

There will come a day…

When my Father will come to rescue me

When I no longer have to live in this cruel, cold world

When I will hear “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”

There will come a day…

I always have dreams that things will change

I always believe that God will work things out

I have faith bigger than the size of a mustard seed

But “things aren’t changing fast enough”

I get discouraged like any other person

I question whether the things I secretly desire will become mine

I know deep down inside that God won’t let me down

I know that one day I will be just fine

That day may not be today

That day may not be tomorrow

That day may not come within the next 2 years

But I do know one thing,

There will come a day…

Time For A Change...Reclaiming God's Children

"You know a lot of times we sit around and think about how the world can change for the better. My brothers and sisters we gotta be about this thing. I want you to stand up on your feet and believe it. COME ON!!!" -Jor el Quinn

So once again, music has inspired me to write. I have been rocking to this song by 21:03 called "Time For A Change" featuring Chris Clark since I first heard it about 2 years ago. I always had this passion for helping people and introducing Christ through song. I have many, many ideas in my head from dreams, visions, and just being out at various events, but most of my ideas come from things I hear. Now my last blog was about motive (Make Me Invisible), this one, however, is about ACTION.

We always say things need to change but we leave it to the leaders of the church. As a young female who is bothered by the things that are said by some young people and adults alike, we need to do something, seriously. That something has to begin with us. We need to evaluate our lives and learn about God before we can tell someone else about God. Our attitudes need to be right, our motives need to be right, etc. No one is perfect and I understand that but we need to be making an effort to be Christ-like. We need to be in prayer and fasting, going to church, going to bible study and things like that. We should be EXAMPLES.

There are a lot of places that are being attacked by the enemy and we need to be ready to stand our ground with the help of God. Our churches are being attacked, and don't think your church isn't being attacked because satan can have his angels sitting right in the congregation. Remember, satan knows the Word better than some of the "holiest" people in the church, which is why we need to be studying the Word. Other places that are being attacked are our homes, our schools, our jobs, and our communities. We need to do something people.

In the song they say we can't be ashamed, I agree but we can't be afraid either. I have 3 scriptures that come to mind when I say that. In Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus was talking to the disciples after he had risen and he told them, "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations..." I have learned one thing about myself and that is, I can't teach something if I'm not confident in it and don't believe it. We need to believe what we are teaching otherwise it means nothing. Whether we are teaching Sunday School, or teaching through song, or poems, we need to be confident and believe the Word in which we teach.

The second scripture I'm reminded of is Jeremiah 1:4-9 when God called Jeremiah to be a prophet. Jeremiah's excuse was that he was just a child and God told him, "Say not, that I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak." I used to say that, until I realized that people younger than me were looking at me. It made me realize that I'm older than SOMEBODY and even people older than me could be watching and be drawn to God through my actions.

The final scripture that reminded me of was in Exodus 3 where God sent his angel in the form of a burning bush. God was telling Moses to go to Egypt and tell Pharaoh to let the children of Israel go free. Moses asked God in verse 11, "Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" A lot of people, when they are called to do something for the Kingdom, will ask, well who am I to do that? Does God know the things I did? The things I said? The thoughts I had? Well yes He does and He can use anyone he pleases.

If you have read all the verses I mentioned, you would notice that every person was assured that God would be with them. In Matthew 28:20, Jesus said "and, lo, I am with you alway,even unto the end of the world." In Jeremiah 1:8, God said, "Be not afraid of their faces; for I am with thee to deliver thee." In Exodus 3:12, God said, "Certainly I will be with thee; and this shall be a token unto thee, that I have sent thee." God will not send you to do something and not be with you. You have to be in constant communication with Him though, 1 Thessalonians 5:17.

If you aren't sure whether God sent you to do something specifically yet, tell your story. I was watching an interview with Evin and Jor el of 21:03 on youtube. They touched on that a bit. Paraphrasing, people can benefit from know what you went through. Telling your story can help someone get through a tough time or even let them know they're not alone. In my opinion, and from listening to others, some people don't like "churchfolk" because they "act too holy" and act like they have never been through anything.

It's time to do as we are called. It's time to reclaim God's children. It's time to walk in our purposes. It's time for a change. God is with us so why are we so hesitant? For those who are already walking in their calling, why not step it up a notch? Satan only wants to do 3 things, steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10) It's time to RECLAIM what belongs to the Kingdom.

Speaking of reclaiming, there is a tour that began this past Friday in Minnesota. This tour includes Canton Jones, Claude Deuce, Willie "P Dub" Moore, Chris Clark, Da TRUTH, and 21:03. I have heard nothing but great things about this tour. It's called the RECLAIM Tour. If you want to start reclaiming God's children, start living like it. Pass out tracks (and don't say they cost too much because I can get 100 for $10 and some sites give them out for free), Bring your friends/classmates/roommates/co-workers to church, bring them to Christian events, bring them to concerts, buy them Christian cds, TELL THEM YOUR STORY!!!

Let's spread the Word of God and reclaim what belongs to Him. I have a goal, by this time next year I want to have had planned and organized a Christian event that young people would benefit from and make it an annual event. Of couse I will be praying about that but I really want to put some of these idea into action and help bring God's children back.

Are you willing to help reclaim His children and make this change happen?

Sista T

BTW...I don't want to offend anyone by what I say, if you know you are doing what you are called to do then fine. This is just for thought, not to come down on anyone because I'm not God. I can't say whether you are doing what you are called to do or not. That is between you and Him. So I hope it caused you to think about what you do for the Kingdom and if it inspires or encourages you, then praise God. That is all...

Make Me Invisible

About a week and a half ago, I said that I would be posting a new blog soon. That blog was never finished because I have so much to say and don't know how to say it so that it makes sense. I also need to do more research on it. But I do have another blog already hand written (I wrote it this morning) and I see it as important for anyone who shares the Word of God. It all came from listening to a song...

I have had "Invisible" by Kierra "KiKi" Sheard on repeat for a couple days now. In the song, Kierra is talking about how some gospel singers have now made everything about them. The song starts out, "A total eclipse has just begun, we've blocked out the Son. Can't believe this is what we've come to." Yea...neither can I, but that hit me so hard. It really hit me because I always say "I will serve God with all my heart, it's not about me, it's about Him reaching His people," but when I get up to sing every Sunday, it's a different story. I tend to worry about what the music sounds like and why I'm hearing things I really don't want to hear. The last thing on my mind while I'm up there is, I'm a vessel being used by God. Now we(the praise team, and musicians) pray together before service with one of the ministers but after that prayer, it seems as though we never prayed for God to use us.

The hook says "It's time to take to the stage, then I'll move out the way, so that they only see You that's inside of me. Don't let me block the view, that's not what I want to do. I want to be seen through, make sure they see You. Make me invisible..." My sincere prayer before service should be something like, "God I pray that you would show up today and use me as Your vessel. I will decrease so that you may increase. God make me invisible so that people will see You and not me. Holy Spirit, have your way in this place." The Word says, in John 3:30, "He must increase but I must decrease." We need too take heed to that verse. God can only increase if we decrease and put ourselves aside.

This blog is not just for singers and performers, but for leaders and clergy, as well as those who witness or testify. When we speak to people, they should not be seeing us, meaning, nothing should be about us. The focus should be on God. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you can't use yourself as an example to glorify God. Just don't make everything about you and say things like, "I did this" and "I did that," now I have peace, thank you JeSUSSSSS!!! God gave you peace, so it's not what you did.

I have some questions:

- Preachers, when you get up to do a sermon, are you focused on making sure God gets all the glory and letting him use you? Or are you trying to sound and look good? Are you just trying to get to your whoop so that people can get hype? Or are you trying to decrease yourself so that God can use you as a vessel to reach His people?

-Congregation, are you focused on what other people are doing to determine the reaction they will get from you? If you were in a dark room with a bunch or people and all you could do was hear and see the scriptures posted up on a screen, would you still have the same reaction you would have if the preacher was visible and jumping all over the pulpit? (Nothing against that, if the spirit causes you to jump, by all means, jump your life away.)

My point is that we need to start making God the ONLY focus in our lives, while preaching, while teaching, while singing, while praise dancing, while playing instruments. God make us invisible...

"My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him." -Psalm 62:5

Love you much!!!

Sista T

Letting Go

I was sitting here listening to 3 songs over and over and my mind started wandering. The songs all had the word "breakthrough" in them and they are "Another Breakthrough", "New Day Dawning", and "Lord of the Breakthrough" all by Mary Alessi.

I was just saying earlier that I was waiting on my breakthrough and after listening to these songs again I started thinking heavily. I have been praying that God would take me to a new place in Him and for the past week I have been praying for a breakthrough. I realized that I was being told what to do while sitting in church but I didn't notice it. I have a lot to let go of. There are things from my childhood, my teenage years, and things from my adulthood that I allowed to get to me. Even the smallest things such as someone lying on me in high school. I never let this stuff go and now I am suffering because of it. I now have to deal with all of those issues to get what I asked for.

I heard someone say that you have to be careful of what you ask for and I heard someone else say that letting go is hard to do. I didn't truly understand what they meant until a little while ago. I asked for a new place in God and a breakthrough, to get that I have to sacrifice something. What I have to sacrifice is my attitude and all the hate, anger, and negativity that I claimed to let go. In all actuality, I never let that stuff go, I just stuffed it under a rug and hid it in some backed up tears. I have to really sit here and forgive every person that did something to me, let the issue go and repent for holding that stuff against people. I said I don't hold grudges and I realized that I'm notorious for doing that and was in denial for years. If someone makes me mad I will bring up something that has nothing to do with the situation just so they would be just as mad if not even more mad than I was at the time.

I learned a lot about myself in those few minutes and I hope someone learns from this. I won't put all my business out there as far as who hurt me, and who I hold grudges against, that's just too much information. But if I did that to you and you just so happen to read this. Just know that I forgive you and I apologize from the bottom of my heart for holding that against you. No, I'm not talking directly to any one person, it's a general apology to everyone I held a grudge against. I would also like to apologize to everyone I hurt, I know I have a bad attitude and I say a lot out of spite just to hurt people. That is about to change though, with the help of God, it will change.

That's all I have for now. I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm not sure I will get back into blogging anytime soon but you all will know if I do.

Love you much

Sista T

I Will Win

I went to Vacation Bible School (VBS) for the first time in YEARS on Monday. The theme this year is Christian Olympics and for tonight I was asked to recite a poem and sing a song. I still don't know what song to sing but I did write a poem. The scriptures we'll be studying tonight are Philippians 3:14; 1 Corinthians 9:24-27; and Hebrews 12:1-2. I used those scriptures as well as Ecclesiastes 9:11 to write this poem so you will see a bit of each scripture in here.

Let me know what you all think about it...

I Will Win - Sista T

I’m at the starting line

Get ready, get set

BOOM! We take off

But I’m far behind the rest

We’re pressing toward the mark

But I think it may be separate

I know I’m going to win

But they all seem desperate

To win this shiny trophy

While I chase a crown

And as I’m running

I see a few on the ground

They fell on their face

Chasing a trophy that’s breakable

I’m still in this race

Chasing a crown that’s incorruptible

They trained with weights, tracks, and trainers

And I did the same

They have the same names

How many know it’s a different game?

My weight is my God

My track is the streets

My trainer is the Word

With them who can’t I defeat?

Satan is mad

His people are falling

Falling on their faces

While I’m still running

I’m pressing toward the mark

Pressing for the prize

Not that shiny trophy though

I don’t need to blind my eyes

I want to see clearly

The Author, the Finisher

Who endured a brutal death

And declared me a winner

Now I may fall

But I will not fail

I will keep pressing

And leave my trail

The end is near

And I can see the finish line

I’m so far ahead

But I can’t get sidelined

With God as my author

And finisher of my faith

I know that the win

Is the victory to my fate

So here I am

Winning today

To prove to the enemy

Jesus is on the way

Now I’m not swift

Nor am I strong

But I do have Jesus

Who will run along

I will be pressing

Pressing to the end

And just to inform you

I WILL WIN

July Update

So...it's been almost a month since I wrote anything. I've been so busy lately that I haven't really had the time to sit down and think about one thing. My dad told me on Sunday that I think too much because I started saying one thing and every other word reminded me of something else.

I just wanted to give you guys an update on my life since I haven't written anything.

• I got into William Paterson again...yay!!!
• I'm taking my last 2 classes for my Associates degree...I technically finished already but I'm taking 2 classes over to increase my cumulative GPA.
• I found out yesterday that I qualified for the Dean's List for the Spring 2010 semester. I'm not sure if that means much to this school because I wasn't notified or anything.
• I'm starting to look into grad schools since I have 3 or 4 semesters left in undergrad. The sooner the better...
• I'm also looking into Law School...WOW...I never thought I would be saying that but I have a teacher who came up to me and asked me when I was going to stop playing and go to law school lol. I gave him my reasons and he explained that you don't have to be an attorney and how he knows a social worker who has a JD. She uses it with her Social Work background for the kids. Sounds interesting...
• I'm back to reading, I just read an urban Christian fiction book called "Blessed Trinity" by Vanessa Davis Griggs...she is a great writer...I love every book I've read of hers
• Ummmmm I haven't really had a problem with struggles like I did before and I think that's why my writing slowed down. All of my previous blogs were results of something good or bad that I was seeing or going through. Right now it's just school, work, and my sister's wedding.

Well that's all for now...

Later Loves!!!

Sista T